Black & White Days

No!!

Wed, 08 May 2013 15:36:23 -0400

So i been trying to get rid of the jiggles. For quite some time now, actually. But i have always failed. Honestly, i love food. It is my weakness, but i don’t go stuffin my face 24/7. Many people think that fat people are fat cause they eat eat and eat. I don’t think that’s true. Yea i eat, but not to the point where its ridiculous. I also lack in exercising. So that also contributes to my unhealthyness. I honestly don’t care how i look, or what people think of me. My main reason why i want to loose weight is because i want to be healthy. There is diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, heart attacks, and all these crazy illnesses within my family and i don’t want to get those. Atleast not anytime soon. Maybe blogging can help me accomplish my goal. I know that i can loose weight cause I’ve done it before but i always end up gaining it back. There are aspects to why i sometimes give up, but i mention those later. But for now, i think i really need to do me for me and just me. Maybe blogging again, can help me. It’s a journey. And im willing to push thru!

HonestMonday.

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 02:19:42 -0400

Honestly, what do want me to say?

Honestly, how was i suppose to look you in the eyes?

Honestly, why are we still arguing?

Honestly, why does it feel like you talk to me with so much hate?

Honestly, I can’t take this anymore.

Honestly, I’m exhausted. Aren’t you?

Honestly, I just want to be left alone.

Honestly, I can’t seem to forget you.

Honestly, I want to forget you.

Honestly, one day i will.

Photo

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 01:53:17 -0400

Dreams can be scary, but maybe, just maybe, this is my answer.

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 01:28:58 -0400

Dreams can be scary, but maybe, just maybe, this is my answer.

Summer12.

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 15:43:03 -0400

Oh, you been BAD.
You shall not bring me completely down though.

My head maintains up high.
I shall overcome you!

Am I that easy to forget?

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 23:37:19 -0400

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been thru, in this type of situation.

Come caca. /:

Pause.

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 16:53:33 -0400

So much can happen,
in such a small amount of time.

Make Lemonade.

Wed, 16 May 2012 01:08:00 -0400

When i write about or blog about anything, i try not to think what to want to type. I sort of just go along with the voice that keeps talking inside my head. Blogging for me is like writing on paper, with a pen. Once its submitted i can no long take it back. Even if i delete it, odds are is that atleast one person read my entire post no matter how boring it got.

When this year, 2012, first began, i was ready for whatever was going to be thrown at my face. So far everything seems to be going good. We’re almost half way done with the year, and too much has been thrown at me. I gotta say, i’m pretty sure i’ve taken it like a champ.

I don’t know what the rest of the year is going to throw at me, but all i can say is that im scared. Scared to wake up one day and have nothing. The easy part of the year is almost over, the hardest part is yet to come. I have so many plans for myself that things seems to be getting difficult.

I want to grab those lemons and throw them back at the bastard who keeps giving me bruises. I’m happy with how things are, i’m not going to lie..but things are bound to change. Things always change, whether its for the best or worse.

I can say im use to change. Though i’m use to change, change scares the crap out of me. Not knowing whats going to happens, cuts me inside. If everything is bound to be okay, then why do people fear of things falling apart? Why do people fear to hold hands and face the unknown together? Why is it when something goes wrong, insanity kicks in?

There are many questions people ask themselves over and over again, but why are people afraid to bring out those questions and not only ask themself, but someone else. We try to find answers on our own, and even though as easy as the answer is, we will never find them. Maybe asking someone other than our own conscience will give us the answer we been dreading to find.

My blogs don’t have like any type of secret messages hidden within. It’s just a bunch of pointless thoughts collected up in a bottle ready to be written down. I’m not looking for an answer, actually i’m looking for million answers about not only myself but the entire world and everything that revolves around it.

The rest of the year, i’m not ready for it, but i’m willing to take a risk and give my full attention to it. Like i said in the beginning of the year, no holdbacks. I shall take every opportunity that comes and learn from the mistakes that i have yet to be thrown at my face.

Straight, bi, lesbian?

Wed, 16 May 2012 00:38:14 -0400

straight.

No words in a war.

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:28:45 -0400

I have never felt this way. I feel I’m constantly being put in the situation that I’m in the middle of two wars. I’m beginning to freak the fuck out. If i move an arm here, one side gets mad. If i move the other arm, the other opposing side gets mad too. Sometimes i just want to run away. Be far from everyone and anyone that has put me into this situation. I want to go hide under a rock and not even an insect can find where i am. I hate seeing any of these two sides getting hurt. I’m in the position where I am about to explode. One side has more power over me. And that side controls what i do 90% of the time. So the other side will probably eventually just give up. (i think they just did).

One thing about me, is you gotta understand, i cant do whatever the fuck i want. i dont have a job. i dont have money. i dont have anything that will say i can do whatever i want.

I need to free myself. I dont want to keep feeling like im in the middle of a way between two sides.

Friend.

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 03:28:28 -0500

That is all.

Goobye 2011. Hello 2012!

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 22:40:24 -0500

As the new year starts, I’m hoping to achieve many things that i have never achieved before. I am not making any “resolutions” or anything like that. I’m am just hoping for the best for myself and going to push myself all the way.

2011..woah, its finally OVER. Looking back that year sent me many unforgettable memories that will mark the rest of my life. For one, My grandpa, Tata. He got taken away from our family. I miss him so much. There isn’t a day that goes by in which i don’t think of him. Now he is only with us spiritually. He takes care of us from above. It’s almost one year that he’s been gone, but will definitely not be forgotten.

He always told me to work hard at school. To give my all to get an education. For him I am going to push myself to become what i want to be. It’s my promise to him I will never stop trying and I will never give up. His memory goes with me everywhere, so he’ll always be with me to guide my way.

2012…I’m ready for whatever you’re going to throw at me. My head is way up high! My mind is going crazy with many endless possibilities that I shall achieve this year. No distractions this year. None. As for i shall go far along the road!

One Day.

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:01:11 -0500

He has stolen my heart from the beginning. I’ve denied myself for a time but it seems as if he’s in deeper into my soul than what I think he is. I see him and my thoughts go away into a paradise in my mind of a perfect world with no one around to destroy it. But then I wake up to see reality. A reality that this will never happen. To know that he can cut me little by little by just one look or stare. Still I don’t lose hope to find someone that gives me the same feeling you do one day.

The List.

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 02:29:47 -0400

1.
2.
3.
4.

6.
7.

8.
9.
10.

Speak Out..

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 02:27:15 -0400

Keeping my mouth shut has done nothing to me, yet I still bite my tounge. There has been close friends (and I mean super close) that has done or said something that has hurt me in some ways. Still, I chose not to say anything.
Speaking out is one thing I should work on.

Of Them All..

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:07:03 -0400

I kno a guy.

He can be the sweetest of them all.
He can be the meanest of them all.

I kno a gal.

She’s the sweetest of them all.
She chooses him, of them all.

This is me.

I hoped he would of chosen me, of them all.
Instead I sit here hoping to find one, of them all.

Poopy Face.

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:39:17 -0400

People should never judge others, before judging urself. It makes no sense when people criticize another person when that person itself has flaws it needs to fix too.

Roller Coaster Week.

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 21:04:34 -0400

Sometimes we feel like we are at the top of the world and its the best feeling we can imagine. Then all of a sudden, something happens that can brings us down…all the way down. Everybody has a breaking point. And its okay to become vulnerable when everything is not okay.
Sitting here listening and seeing makes me realize that we all share one thing in common. One thing that brings us together, music.
No matter how we feel, we express our feeling and emotions just by simply singing a song. And while singing, we think about everything happening around us.
Life is simply short, a saying everyone says. But its true. There are people that fight for their lives everyday, every second. They seem to appreciate life even more because it can be taken away from them at any second.

So what is it with me? I’ve learn several things this week. One being most important is, never let your negative emotions take over us. Letting that happen, causes problems and awkwardness with others and such sorts. Keep emotions under control, and expressing them in ways that won’t harm the people around us..

Shit.

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:48:27 -0400

I got some apologizing to do…

Pfft Friday Long.

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 22:22:42 -0400

Friday. What can i say? It’s a day to let your worries go away for the nite. Maybe have a few drinks to just get into the weekend mode. Of course, as i sit here typing, making people are just doing so, going out maybe, and having an enjoyable time with others. If not, then, why hello to you.

I’m a very family oriented person, whatever the fuck that means. I “hang” out with my family a lot. Don’t get me wrong, i love being around them. They’re the ones i spent the most time with. They’re the ones I’ve shared all my emotions with. I’ve laughed, cried, and all those other stupid feelings you can imagine, with them.

So my Friday?! Hmm let’s just say I’m “hanging” out with them…again. What do we do? …I don’t even want to go there.

Maybe i should study..or maybe i should just go to the gym… or maybe i should just sit in front of my laptop and write a meaningless blog and pretty much have no one read this.

It is ambiguous to my understanding that why I have “certain” restrictions. I mean, i deserve to go out at least once a week, right? Certainly not counting going out to school, that just doesn’t count…at all. I’ve been the best i can be. I’ve have definitely done the most in specific areas.

Do they want me to be a freaking nun?! If so, FUCK that shit! I don’t plan on devoting my life on praising on a someone that might or might not be there. Religion. Certainly not my cup of tea. Yes, i believe in it. But yes, i also question like a little kidd.

If there is a God, how come he hasn’t given me my answers to my prayers..or a sign? ..Anyways, religion gets in the way of a lot of things and causes meaningless problems and endless arguments. So skipping that, if i keep talking about it, maybe i might get attacked on by religion freaks.

Something everyone enjoys is music. No arguments with that one. ..Now that I think about it, i shall put some music on. …Music, it can make one feel much better in many ways.

All of a sudden, Writer’s Block. dammit…

Cheers to Friday nites.